James Donaldson on Mental Health - What Is Separation Anxiety?

Worried phone calls and messages Mobile phone technology, rather than easing anxiety , can actually exacerbate it, since now there is the expectation that we can always be in touch with each other.

Many parents of kids with separation anxiety are used to getting dozens of worried text messages and phone calls throughout the day while they are at work or their child is at school, and some kids will start to panic when mom or dad doesn’t answer or is out of cell phone reception range.

Separation anxiety itself, when developmentally appropriate, is not necessarily a bad thing.

Though it feels uncomfortable, anxiety can be useful because it spurs us to be more thoughtful and cautious when approaching a new situation.

As Ron Steingard, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, explains, “At different stages of development it is normal to have problems around separation, because the world is not safe, and you haven’t learned how to master being away from the people who take care of you.

As you develop, and as you begin to master situations and develop skills, it should get easier.” Missing out on activities For kids who have severe, persistent anxiety at separating, it doesn’t get easier.

These kids will have an unusually hard time saying goodbye — one mom we know has considered quitting her job because of the panic attacks her daughter has whenever she leaves for work — but the anxiety doesn’t stop there.

The distress these kids feel about separating prevents them from participating in age-appropriate activities and learning opportunities like joining sports teams or even in some cases attending school.

The anxiety takes a social toll as well — these are the nine-year-olds who still need mom to stand next to them during a birthday party or won’t consider attending a sleepover unless it is being hosted at their own home.

Overattachment also persists at home, where children will often “shadow” one parent from room to room.