James Donaldson on Mental Health - Teaching Kids About Boundaries

Writer: Rae Jacobson, MS Clinical Experts: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPP , Stephanie Dowd, PsyD , Mandi Silverman, PsyD, MBA Key Takeaways Teaching children to set boundaries involves helping them understand their own feelings and those of others, fostering empathy from a young age.

Parents can explain that rules —like body autonomy—work both ways, and help kids practice phrases to advocate for themselves when others don’t respect their boundaries.

Modeling respectful behavior is crucial, as children learn boundary-setting when they see parents checking with others before making decisions.

How to help kids develop empathy Rules work both ways Practice setting boundaries Model behavior Find, and discuss, examples Embrace diversity Respect limits on offering affection Take your kids’ limits seriously For most parents setting boundaries for young kids’ behavior is second nature: No hitting.

We don’t grab toys out of other kids’ hands.

But as they get older, and social interaction gets more complex, it’s not enough to just learn the rules.

They need to learn to set boundaries for themselves and respect those of others.

And that takes being able to recognize what others want and need — and express what they want and need, too.

“Boundaries are essentially about understanding and respecting our own needs, and being respectful and understanding of the needs of others,” explains Stephanie Dowd, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, “and for that to work, we need to be putting a big emphasis on helping kids develop greater empathy and self-awareness.” Why is empathy important?

For some parents, the idea of teaching children who haven’t quite mastered the art of tying their shoes to be more empathetic might seem a little absurd.