James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Help Kids Who Are Lonely

How to help kids who are struggling socially Make a plan.

When something is confusing or intimidating it is often helpful to break it into smaller steps .

So if your child is struggling to ask someone if they want to hang out, for example, you can work with them to come up with a plan for how to do it.

Vibert recommends having a plan A and a plan B just in case.

“If the child is already feeling lonely and then they’re putting themselves in a vulnerable position to reach out to somebody, I think it’s helpful for a parent to have them work through what to do if it doesn’t work out.” Having a plan B can help kids feel more confident going in, too.

For kids who are struggling with their social skills, try to give them plenty of opportunity to practice at their own pace in a supportive environment.

Coach your child on the things they find challenging — maybe settling conflict , taking turns or noticing when someone is losing interest in an activity — and try role playing to give them experience.

Relatives and family friends can also help so they get practice with multiple people.

Kids who are feeling anxious or depressed are less inclined to put themselves out there.

“When kids say they want to stay home, it’s a challenge to figure out how much to push,” acknowledges Michelle Kaplan, LCSW, a licensed social worker.